Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The Dubai story - 2


Dubai is a city of rich. or rather Dubai Emirate is Emirate of rich. Its not a city per se. And if you are rich with U$Ds, the better. Your american-ness will be very helpful here. Dubai and USA share a fascination towards each other, you can't miss it unless you are unlucky enough to be locked in a 6x6x8 cell in French Guiana since your birth and you cannot make out Paris Hilton from Indira gandhi. Not that I am complaining about it. After all we have generations in India living to a dream of going to US of A and making it big. Its modernness is so polished and so recent. Actually every modern city is bound to be polished, but there is something about Dubai which makes you wonder and scratch your head in amazement and awe. For a land that became a country as late as 1971, their achievements are mega. There are still a few rough patches although like: You see, on one hand there is world's tallest building (Burj Dubai,yeah) and on the opposite side, camels grazing in the desert, no kidding! But that issue is fast being looked after. Soon there will be no such contradicitions to be seen, and they are almost there. For the starters, there are virtually no poor people. No shabby houses. No broken roads. No garbage. No dirt. No smelly by lanes. No crowd, In fact there are almost no people on the roads.The public transport vehicles are nice and clean, so are the bus and metro stops. If you are coming from India, be warned, you are going to miss a lot of things. Another thing you notice is quantity and quality of cars, that too big huge cars. Small cars and two wheelers are next to non-existent. If you see a bike, consider it one of those rare days so it might rain. If you see two bikes in a day, you most probably roamed out of Dubai to some other emirate, may be Ajman. If you see a bi-cycle, you came far, far-off like say,India. For a person like me who is crazy for all things that move on wheels (yeah you read it right, girls on skates included) I was in heaven. Listing the cars that I saw would be too tiring to write and read. For the connoisseurs, I would mention a few very rare and remarkable cars that I saw roaming in Dubai:
(*note: the serial numbers are not as per their significance, it will be insulting for the cars who got a number other than #1)

1. Ford GT, An American legend. Its awesomeness is not to be calculated. Ford's flag bearer based on the legendary Ferrari killer GT40 and probably the best Ford ever made. After Model T that is.


2. Lotus 7 or Caterham 7. Lotus 7 is too old, I guess it was Caterham 7 only. He zoomed past in a moment. A bare bones machine for purists. You should be executed if you don't like it.




3. Ferrari Enzo ( In fact almost all other models of Ferrari). You agree to it or not, but Enzo is the car. It is also Italian, making it extra ordinarily desirable. Not only that, it is also outrageously staggeringly violent and disastrously fast. One push on pedal and you are in other continent.With only 400 ever made, I would like to get run over by it and die, if I am to die someday.


4. KTM X-Bow...yeah! KTM also makes this totally insane 4 wheeled machine and someone has got it in Dubai already. I could not click it but it looks like below, I was in total awe to pull out camera. Don't go by the looks and its biking blood line. It can push your eye balls to the back of your head when you accelerate. With no visible protection and engine screaming mad at 5 inches from your ears, try to stand without trembling your legs in front of it.



5. BMW 8 series, a 850 CSI. Humongous V12 engined BMW coupe/tourer, so far ahead of its time that when people reached to that time,it was already old.

6. Lamborghini Gallardo spider in totally awesome matte grey finish. The baby lambo is capable of mauling you into a senseless blob of flesh with its sound, looks, power and what not. Give respect, don't expect any. Its rush and frenzy can only be bettered by other lambo and Enzo.


7. Maserati Quattroporte(below) and GT, OK these are not rare in a convinient manner, but still exotic as hell. You just cannot go wrong. Marvelously Italian. Criminally beautiful. Sexy as Sophia Lauren.




8. Chevrolet Corvette ZR1,C06 etc etc : Another American legend. ZR1 they say is the best corvette yet and in fact best American car ever made. Comparing it with Ford GT will be delicious, but I will still hand over the cup to GT due to its rarity and image.

9. Rolls Royce Phantom in golden...only in Dubai you can have something like this. Its a monstrous car of monstrous price.But in Dubai its just a piece of heavy English metal. It's a ticket to the show where you can display your phat money. It may be colossal but it is not beautiful. The only car which I hate to put on this list.




I was hoping even before I flew to Dubai, that I would get to see a Bugatti Veyron but it evaded me some how. The other cars however made it up more than enough. Whenever we walked on road, my head would turn here and there as the cars passed. I remember look on my friend's faces when I showed them some car. Every other second I would point to some car and make them see. Made them go crazy by the end of tour. My apologies Senthil and Solomon!




A Dodge Charger(above) and Chevrolet Camaro 4th generation(top). Celebrate America! would you please? Thank you. (By the way, see that handy work of obscuring the number plate on Camaro?done by yours truly)


In India, cars are very easy pointers of one's worth and well being-ness.If you have a car, you automatically become eligible for exclusivity. In Dubai, that hardly makes a difference: EVERYONE has car(s). That makes classification a bit difficult. Following is an approximate guide on the reactions you may get according to how you arrive :


a. on a bike : "pizza delivery boy! you are late by 10Min's"



b. small car, say Swift : you should not exist in Dubai, or rather you do not exist already.


c. a entry mid segment car like Hyundai Verna or Honda City : your forefathers were construction labours in Sharja. You are a labour supervisor in Dubai.


d. premium mid size car like Octavia or Civic : Pre-School teacher of secondary language English, beacuse obviously you do not speak arabic. A Second generation, middle class, boring expat.


e. Premium car like Accord or Camry : "You taxi driver!!!". So you point that your car does not have those red-green lights on top nor is the car off-white. You get an unimpressed reply " So you stole your taxi itself?".


f. A custom modded Lancer or Imprezza : We like your car, not you. Don't try any weird shit on our roads, boy racer, go to Japan and drift.


g. Luxury sedan like any BMW 5 or Audi 6 or Mercedes E : So what? I told you they don't like European cars. You neo-rich expats...


h. Luxury sedan like Cadillac CTS : "Yo Americano!! welcome to Dubai"


i. Any large SUV like Hummer, Escalade : "You guzzle so much of gas! We so like you" also that makes you American by default, so double bonanza.


j. Super luxury sedan like 7 series or S class : OK...Your forefathers were illegal gold exporters during 80's and 90's. You still deal gold with Indians. Apparently legal.


k. A full blown sports car like Ferrari 430F: A kid of real estate dealer. Give me your papa's contact.


l. Super duper luxury, Rolls Royce phantom or ghost : Ah ha, and a raised eye brow. You might get a welcome drink. Coke. Not water.


m. A helicopter : ummmm, papa of Ferrari 430 driving kid. "Let's talk real estate and dollars".


n. A private jet liner: Now this is something. You get a drink. Water this time.


o. A totally sweet 550 feet yacht : you ARE a Shaikh. So you don't step out at all. The hotel comes and builds a lobby right till your private port with red carpet, woven with solid gold thread. Women straight from arabian nights standing on sides, welcoming you.

and as Emiratis say,Shukran!
P.S. some other cars seen in Dubai below, just like that!



A sweet Audi R8. Inside the tunnel that goes from under the main stem of Palm Jumeirah till Atlantis.





Dubai's favourite car.Arrive in one of these, and earn respect. Because obviously the more gas you guzzle, more you are liked. I could not click a yellow stretched hummer!





One of numerous limos in Abu-Dhabi. It was the first time I saw a SUV stretched to make a Limo...that too a dilapidated Ford Excursion. But so what? It is a truck ok? and it is American.


Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The Dubai story -1

Alright, Rise and shine sir, I take a u-turn and come back to this little blog as I said earlier, I changed my mind. A warning: The next few posts have nothing to do with my bike (which is currently running nicely, amen). I just happened to hit on a jackpot and got lucky. I will cut the prologue of how I got lucky, you see I don't like to see my readers getting jealous. But the story goes like this - I was made to play games,then booze, then play some more game, then go around karting track in a Go-Kart and then land in Dubai one fine morning from Hyderabad. I am so lucky that my Emirates flight was sponsored, so was my hotel stay and food...
Anyways, I land there with my stomach full with nice lunch and beer. The first thing I saw from the door is a Ford Focus and I became happy. The smile glued on my face from that moment remained till I boarded (sponsored!)flight back to India after the tour. We go inside and I was astonished at the marvellously huge and beautiful airport. Everyone was needed to go through eye-scan before they stamped our Visas as valid. I still don't know what was the reason behind it. There were some 5 queues of people 1 especially for women. Each queue was ending at a counter with retina scan machine and an Arab operating it. Amazingly for women also a man was there with huge face and pouty lips and moon surface skin, looking terrible. The person for my queue was quite safe looking, thank you! Me along with my friends were standing when I noticed that it was almost India with 80 out of 100 people around me speaking Hindi. Finally we reach at the end and my friend Senthil goes for the scan.. He sits on the chair facing the Arab and closes one eye, positions other eye towards the machine. The Arab is not satisfied, he takes a look at visa and gestures with his hand to open the eye widely. Mr.Senthil 'opens' as much as possible but not enough. The person is frusrated and seeing an Indian slips to HINDI! He says "Aankh kholo!" in weird accent. Now, Mr.Senthil here comes from Chennai and knows as much Hindi as Paris Hilton knows about what is being smart. He sits there dumbly, without emotions. The Arab takes a pityfull look at him and barks "Aankh kholo, Badaa badaa!!" and opened his own eyes wide. As if finally on some clue Senthil shows some movement of eye, but just. Not enough. I certainly did not want the first casuality to occur within minutes of landing and looked on dreadly. The Arab must have gone crazy by now, he curled his lips downward, clenched his fist and opened it slowly, just like a flower. Senthil finally got it and I guess he opened his eye really REALLY wide as he got the stamp on visa. I was next. I don't exactly remember but I must have kept my eyes in a ohh-what-a-surprise-mode, because the Arab immediately stamped the document.
First hurdle cleared, with all of our limbs in tact!
P.S. - All the talks such as very freely given capital punishment, your limbs being cut for offences etc etc are crap. Me however, till today, have taken very good care of my body. So losing a limb trying to stretch UAE law, was out of contention and results would have been disastrous. Coding as they say is tough. With only one hand left, it will be impossible I guess.
And I suggest if you ever go to Dubai, you also do the same: do not try to verify. As we all know, that you never know.
To start, here is a picture of the awesome Dubai airport entrance. The colors keep changing every 2 seconds.


shukran!